enough is enough #
March 23, 2006
i seriously think my USB gonna spoil soon. there's something wrong with the connection. it just kept getting disconnected. and i seriously don't wanna buy a new one. i have been FORCED to upload photos to the com. and for your info, those photos are not mine. they are from those really zi lian people such as Y U F E N. i'm not angry with her or anything. i just felt so irritated by it. half of my handphone images are hers. and i have to spend time uploading it into the com and send it to her. afterwhich, i would have to delete those pics. but the thing is, i'm not really free this few days. and she kept pestering me to send her the photos. i think i'm gonna charge her the next time she wants me to do this again. i'm not selfish okay. its just that uploading those pics can be really
ma fan . and i'm plain lazy.
anyway, our class was down for attire check today. nothing to be proud of. but i guess this particular person thinks its kinda great to be caught. she said i got caught for fingernails is just a small deal. while her getting caught for socks is a BIG deal. ya ya. ultra big deal okay ? mine is just a tiny winy small fry. you changed so much that i don't wanna bother about you anymore.
i thought about some stuffs. guides and my school work. there's something about guides thats bothering me so much. i knew i shouldn't think this way and that i should feel happy about it. but i just can't help it. i have already told myself to concentrate on my school work esp since this year is our BIG year. and i'm trying my best. i don't like myself being this. frankly speaking, i think those horoscope books are true. they say aries like to win and get everything they wanted. this is kinda true. sometimes, i DO think that way. that i want to get this particular thing and so on. but everytime i did that, i realized something and i told myself not to be like this. it sometimes work but sometimes it just doesn't work. i hate it when i thinks that way. i still remembered i wanted to be CL so much when i was in sec 2. but when i get into sec3 , i realized i don't want it. its just something i want to have. so i told myself i don't wanna have this and i prayed i won't have this post. i even told myself that i don't have the qualities and leadership so they probably won't chose me. but who knew when the more you don't want it, it just happens. and so it happenned. i seriously don't wanna have this post. but since it has already been like over half a year, i just have to accept it. i realized i hate having to do alot of things. i hate being the centre of attraction. i hate seeing people mouthing me behind my back. i hate being seen as the " responsible " one . when i did something wrong, the teacher would just say its my fault. yes. that incident about the t-shirt design. i'm still darn pissed about it. and i just don't understand why am i ONLY THE ONE BEING REPRIMANED ? just cos i'm suppose to be the " responsible " one ? how fair is this world ? i just hate it. and i would rather be a small PS or even better if i'm without any ranks. its really tiring to so called " lead " or in other words like
order ( used by those juniors ) people. i'm really tired. truly tired. and i seriously can't wait for POP. i know miss ong has the bad impression on me now. and i know she thinks i'm the worst ever CL . and that she should have chosen someone else like nisa. its my fault that she thinks this way. i shown her attitude that day in the canteen. and i totally ignore her a few weeks after that incident. but, i never wanted this post. so its partly their fault too.
( i know if she saw this, she would say i'm finding excuses again. ) fortunately, i'm leaving this school very soon. just a few more months. this year passed so fast. its good cos i'm leaving BSS, but bad cos o levels are nearing. but whatever. i'm just gonna do my best in it.
oh yes. i can't stand that bunch of people. they think they went clubbing is so cool. its just
shit.
